Today's update from the vehicle of torture

After only a few hours on our bus yesterday Sam and I were desperate, depressed and madly trying to figure out alternative means of transport. Our tour guide's delivery manages to be deathly boring, condescending, naive and plain stupid at the same time. If you can image Gomer Pyle combined with a not very good primary Maths teacher, stripped of any personality ... that would be a lot better than what we have.
Still, we've learned some amazing things; how to count three rows of seats (and were sincerely congratulated on our achievement) and how to calculate 10% of a bill (and gosh darn it if you times that by 2 if you don't have 20%!). He's also explained that going round a roundabout is just like a carnival ride and don't be frightened of the strange noise when the bus goes to the edge of the road, that's a new thing to warn you if you are drifting off the road. Oh you Aussies know about those?

By lunchtime we had two seats unable to be used due to water dripping on them, and the driver had to stop to tape part of the bus back on as it was flapping against the window. Several seat backs won't move from the recline position and a random loose screw in an aisle arm rest threatens a nasty injury passing unsuspecting legs.

However Sam and I came more prepared and are coping much better today. Our coping mechanism is to put on headphones and music whenever he speaks. This started out mainly as a means to block out the squealing PA system, however we soon discovered it makes for a more relaxed and better behaved Linda if I don't listen to him. In the brief moments I have heard his inane comments today, sarcastic smart arse replies have sped from my lips. I know this will surprise those of you more familiar with the placid and patient Linda 😇
But really, it's not my fault. An example. After a two minute soliloquy on whether we would have 21 or 17 or ??23 minutes for our lunch stop, he asked "how long do typical Aussies take to eat lunch?" ... Without realising, I replied "Depends if we have to catch it and kill it first".

Anyway, the sun has come out and we have great scenery to accompany our great music. No great pics possible through the streaky windows unfortunately, but I'll include a few later. Sam has her new iPad so is immeasurably less murderous than yesterday. For now. We still have a few hours to go and we have been so well behaved all day .....